Paper, Pencil, and Past

Four years ago, in 2009, I think it was during the summer, I sat down at the desk in the office at my home and started writing. I didn't really have any ideas in mind. I just wrote a short piece about a character I made up at that moment, and left it at that. I think it was about twenty pages to start. Not much, but it was a lot for me.

When I first started writing-my first ever story-was about five pages. Now, this does not include the comics I had been making in elementary school since second or third grade. Those are even more ancient (and shorter) pieces of my history...

But the first ever story I wrote was when I was probably about twelve. It was a short piece about some people who were at the New Years celebration for the year 3000 (no connection to the Jonas Brothers first hit, I swear). Basically, the three main characters got abducted by some aliens, and I guess some how or another they had to get everyone back home. And this all happened within five pages. I was so proud of myself, and my drastically underdeveloped, premature work.

After that, I wrote another story that was about ten pages this time. It was about a girl who got lost in a cornfield or something (I can't honestly remember, and don't have it in front of my face right now to check). Either way, I remember writing it, and I remember being satisfied when it was done about a half an hour later. After that, I wrote two or three more short stories (which I'm sure weren't very good) before I sat down and wrote out the piece that is the topic of this post.

I honestly can't remember how I got the idea. I remember writing, and dating, the original work. I remember making two or three sequels, adding characters and action. And as I wrote each "book", they began to grow in length and detail. The characters started to interest me. I wondered who they were and where they had come from. I knew there had to be more to them that what I was writing down. Because, let's face it, those early drafts were way too short to include all of the finely-tuned details I knew were hidden somewhere in those backstories I neglected. This was all four years ago when I wrote the first draft. Many things have changed in four years, but the story I wrote is still there for me. The core concepts have not changed.

I guess I'm talking about it because this story means a lot to me. It might not be good enough to get published. Hell, right now, I know it's not. There is so much missing. So much of the story is made up of material that has been used millions of times before by thousands of run-of-the-mill authors. And that does irritate me. I want people to love my story, like I love it. I want people to see my characters as real as I see them, and to care for them as much as I do. But if it doesn't sell, it doesn't sell. It's just nice for me to know that it's there. It's nice to know that, even though things are changing rapidly, sometimes out of my control, and the world is becoming a much more real place, I still have my old story and my old characters to fall back on.

Some days, when I am particularly stressed or tired, or I just don't want to deal with anything, I go back to my story and tinker with it. I add a sentence here, change the wording there. Not much. I don't, sadly, have enough time in a day to work on it. If I were a hermit, and didn't have to do well in school or go to work, I would work on my story every day. By the time I was done with it, it would be so amazing everyone would want it. That's what I tell myself, anyway. But there just isn't time. In the future, I want to take it somewhere. I want to have my characters become household names, and I want there stories to last forever. Kind of an overwhelming concept.

Take it one day at a time. Find out what it is that keeps you up and going. Is there something that you know you would finish if you had time? Something you love that reminds you of relaxing days?

My story will always matter to me. I won't ever delete it, even if it isn't worth a dime. The psychological associations attached to it are too precious. And even though you have no idea what my story is about (since I haven't told you and don't plan to), hopefully you can see how important it is to have that anchor. To have something to remind you that everything is the same as it always has been, just a little different.

I'm not afraid of change. But it's nice to know that somethings are always the same.