I am stressed. 98% of my day, every day. It feels like my stress is leading me down a slow but steady spiral into insanity. If it's not school, it's work. If it's not work, it's an extracurricular. If it's not that, it's a person. Something is always stressing me out. High expectations lead me to often high anxiety and sometimes disappointment. So should I expect less of myself? Should I not be involved with so many things?
I just wish I could be a hobo and live off of my rich husband. And then the little independent lady inside of me squeals with disgust. It's too difficult to be sane anymore...
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Be Yourself and Smile!
I'm finally back at school, and I've been noticing a few things that I had forgotten, or hadn't noticed before, about college. For one thing, it seriously is like a mini-town full of people from the ages of 18 to the mid-twenties for the most part. People in these age groups provide maintenance help, serve the food, check in people at the front desk, assist the professors...I mean, geez, what do the full time staff even do?? It's so strange to go from living in a town where nearly everyone is twenty years older than you, to a place where EVERYONE is your age, or close.
The one thing I realized the most when coming back to college though, was how important it is to put yourself out there. I am somewhere between an introvert and an extrovert. When I socialize too much for too long, I need to take a day for myself to recoup. But when I'm not with other people for a long time, I feel lonely-the urge to talk to or hang out with someone overtakes me. And I think it's because I have grown to realize how absolutely essential it is for me to be in contact and have connections with other people, even if I'm not in the mood to socialize sometimes. I've seen far too many people who have grown up with no one around, or at least, no one that matters. They lose their humanity in a sense: become numb to everything and only notice the bad things about life. There are far too many people on this planet to connect with for someone to grow old bitter and alone.
And there is so much to enjoy about a person once you finally venture out to talk to them. Some people are funny, some are smart, some are just plain nice. There are a lot of jerks out there too, not saying there aren't, but I almost feel like even the jerks have something hidden inside that makes them a good person. Maybe when they were younger, nobody wanted to bother talking to them, so they grew up old and cranky and made bad choices. I am willing to bet that the majority of bad people are just lonely souls trapped beneath a nasty demeanor.
So here is my advice, if you care enough to take it: even if you are feeling lazy, or tired, or not in the mood, make an effort to talk to someone new today. If it's only for a passing greeting, that is ay-ok! Or at least smile at someone as they pass you on the street or the sidewalk: you never know when you might be improving someone's day. Don't be afraid to be yourself around people you don't know: half of them will end up liking you, and the other half will just forget you. It's not hurting anybody, but it's helping you.
We're all forced to share the same planet, we don't have much of a choice. So why not try making the lives of those around you as good as they can be for as long as they will last?
The one thing I realized the most when coming back to college though, was how important it is to put yourself out there. I am somewhere between an introvert and an extrovert. When I socialize too much for too long, I need to take a day for myself to recoup. But when I'm not with other people for a long time, I feel lonely-the urge to talk to or hang out with someone overtakes me. And I think it's because I have grown to realize how absolutely essential it is for me to be in contact and have connections with other people, even if I'm not in the mood to socialize sometimes. I've seen far too many people who have grown up with no one around, or at least, no one that matters. They lose their humanity in a sense: become numb to everything and only notice the bad things about life. There are far too many people on this planet to connect with for someone to grow old bitter and alone.
And there is so much to enjoy about a person once you finally venture out to talk to them. Some people are funny, some are smart, some are just plain nice. There are a lot of jerks out there too, not saying there aren't, but I almost feel like even the jerks have something hidden inside that makes them a good person. Maybe when they were younger, nobody wanted to bother talking to them, so they grew up old and cranky and made bad choices. I am willing to bet that the majority of bad people are just lonely souls trapped beneath a nasty demeanor.
So here is my advice, if you care enough to take it: even if you are feeling lazy, or tired, or not in the mood, make an effort to talk to someone new today. If it's only for a passing greeting, that is ay-ok! Or at least smile at someone as they pass you on the street or the sidewalk: you never know when you might be improving someone's day. Don't be afraid to be yourself around people you don't know: half of them will end up liking you, and the other half will just forget you. It's not hurting anybody, but it's helping you.
We're all forced to share the same planet, we don't have much of a choice. So why not try making the lives of those around you as good as they can be for as long as they will last?
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Set Sail!
As I make a list of all of the things that I need for school this year, and sort through everything I have, and mentally prepare myself for the realization that my summer is almost over, I can't help but remember this time last year. I was a nervous freshman, about to begin my first year away from home. I wasn't sure what the new year was going to bring me. I had nightmares occasionally about getting lost on campus, or showing up late to class: the kinds of nightmares where the scenery around you morphs and twists until you have no idea where you are but you know it isn't where you are supposed to be.
The first year was challenging, but as I met new friends and got into a routine, it became easier. And then I moved back home, and got used to the slow flow of things, only to be propelled once more back into the chaotic mess that is my life at school. Such is life. It seems like whenever I start getting comfortable with one thing, I am thrown headlong into something else. Kind of like I am standing on the plank, and one wrong move will send me tumbling down into the seas.
I won't lie, I'm just as nervous this year as I was for the last. I've never been one of those people who is okay with not knowing what is going to happen, who can just "go with the flow" and know it will all work out. I am more one of those people who has a list for her lists and plans parties and events months ahead of time, becoming frustrated when others cannot morph to my schedule. So I know where my classes are, so I do have friends on campus: I still don't know what I'm doing next summer, I still don't know what internship I will have before I graduate, I still don't know how to get where I'm going and somehow make enough money to eat at the same time. Taking it one day at a time is what is getting me through the beginning of yet another new start.
I did, shockingly, set some goals for myself, to help ease the transition back to school:
Goal #1. Decide if I'm going to add another major. Decide what it is I want out of my future career.
Goal #2. Enjoy as much of my spontaneous, young life as I can, because before I know it, I won't have the chance to go watch shooting starts at 2am on a Tuesday morning. And,
Goal #3. Do my best. It's all I can do.
I think I'm the only person who has to write "have fun" in her planner, or she may forget to do it :)
So begins another year! Another challenge! Another 365 days to "make it or break it"! And I'm ready. My "Imagination" poster and scented candles are lying in wait with me. We are bracing ourselves for the shock of the incoming hurdle into the seas of the unknown. I have a ship made of faith, and God is my Captain, so let's set sail before the high tide of doubt casts us into the beyond!
Godspeed, Me Maties!
The first year was challenging, but as I met new friends and got into a routine, it became easier. And then I moved back home, and got used to the slow flow of things, only to be propelled once more back into the chaotic mess that is my life at school. Such is life. It seems like whenever I start getting comfortable with one thing, I am thrown headlong into something else. Kind of like I am standing on the plank, and one wrong move will send me tumbling down into the seas.
I won't lie, I'm just as nervous this year as I was for the last. I've never been one of those people who is okay with not knowing what is going to happen, who can just "go with the flow" and know it will all work out. I am more one of those people who has a list for her lists and plans parties and events months ahead of time, becoming frustrated when others cannot morph to my schedule. So I know where my classes are, so I do have friends on campus: I still don't know what I'm doing next summer, I still don't know what internship I will have before I graduate, I still don't know how to get where I'm going and somehow make enough money to eat at the same time. Taking it one day at a time is what is getting me through the beginning of yet another new start.
I did, shockingly, set some goals for myself, to help ease the transition back to school:
Goal #1. Decide if I'm going to add another major. Decide what it is I want out of my future career.
Goal #2. Enjoy as much of my spontaneous, young life as I can, because before I know it, I won't have the chance to go watch shooting starts at 2am on a Tuesday morning. And,
Goal #3. Do my best. It's all I can do.
I think I'm the only person who has to write "have fun" in her planner, or she may forget to do it :)
So begins another year! Another challenge! Another 365 days to "make it or break it"! And I'm ready. My "Imagination" poster and scented candles are lying in wait with me. We are bracing ourselves for the shock of the incoming hurdle into the seas of the unknown. I have a ship made of faith, and God is my Captain, so let's set sail before the high tide of doubt casts us into the beyond!
Godspeed, Me Maties!
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