"When you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse."
"If you never try you'll never know, just what you're worth."
When I was listening to this song ("Fix You" by my favorite band Coldplay) a thought kept running through my head. Often times, I feel like I don't have control over anything: like I am just a part of the dreaded "system." I go through every day like a zombie, doing things because it's just how life is here in the USA. Class. Work. Homework. Sleep. Then wake up and do it all over again. And then I realize that the more I do this, the less and less I feel like I am actually living. And I go to bed wondering, what did I miss today that I should've taken advantage of?
It's actually quite sad to live life this way: like you're "stuck in reverse"...going through the motions...feeling tired, but not because you have done so much to actually make your body tired. You're tired because you haven't done enough.
Potential. There is always so much potential that I feel like I can't reach. I've mentioned this multiple times before: this thought that I am meant for so, so much more than what I am currently doing. I feel like I have mounds of untapped potential, like I can do almost anything, but for some reason, I'm doing very little.
Is it wrong to think this way? Am I just expecting more out of life than I should be? Maybe it is a result of my difficulty with being realistic about my current condition. I don't have a ton of money right now, so of course I'm not going to be traveling the world and going on a bunch of big huge adventures. And it's impossible to meet everyone in the world and make them all my friends. Still...still, there has to be more than what I am experiencing day after day. I've got so many ideas, so many thoughts that flicker in and out of my head day by day that go unrecognized by the public. Then again, this doesn't make me an individual: everyone has brilliant ideas! I think I just tend to notice mine more than the average person.
So, where does this leave me? Feeling boring, unfulfilled, and sad about everything? Nope. Not at all.
I don't believe in going through life thinking that we can't change anything, and that "things are the way they are." Of course things can change! And it doesn't take an army to change them. Think about it, how did things get to the way they are now? Because of innovative, individual thinkers who felt exactly the way I do now, but decided to act on it.
The first step is to understand what Coldplay was saying with the line: "If you never try, you'll never know what you're worth." If you never try, you won't ever know. You have to get up off of your butt and stop complaining, and go out there and show everyone what an awesome person you are. Show people why they should like you, and why you matter. Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
The second step is to understand personally why you are awesome. Let's face it, it will be difficult for you to make any friends or any changes if you don't understand yourself first. To be honest, I find this a difficult step. But I've managed to find things about myself that I love, and so can you! Think: what makes you love yourself? What makes you get up day after day? What makes you smile about the way you are?
Third and final step: GO! Go out and implement the changes that you wish to see. Show people your ideas. Prove to people why you deserve to be recognized. And remember, not everyone is going to listen, or care. Most people don't give a damn. But in the rare cases where we make our best friends, it's because they did care, and they saw what you saw. "If you never try you'll never know, just what you're worth."
"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you." <3 Better yet, try to fix yourself.
Happy Wanderings
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Procrastination Nation
You know what I've been noticing lately? People are lazy.
I am sitting at my work, doing some things on the computer, and then I realize that I ran out of things to do a little bit early. So, not wanting to sit around and do nothing while on the clock, I decided to clean my work station. I've always been like this: I feel guilty when I don't do anything and yet I am being paid to work. I thought this was a common part of being a human.
I guess I was wrong, because when I look around at the other students I am working with, half of the time they don't even seen to be doing anything productive...but here's the kicker: they don't even CARE. It's like, they are being paid to work, but they are only working half the time...
Friday, October 4, 2013
Life Lessons: "Jane"
I would like to dedicate this post to someone very special to me, who has taught me more about life and the power of one person than I could ever learn from anyone else. To protect her privacy, I am going to refer to this person as "Jane".
I met Jane last year, and the first thing that I perceived about her was her openness and acceptance of complete strangers. I had originally thought of this as just a trait: she was an outgoing person. What I didn't understand at the time was the fact that this acceptance and open heart and mind did not come from her being a naturally open person: it came from her attitude to make the best out of her life, even when she had been at her worst. Her love and compassion for everyone came from her own struggles as a child, growing up with a life that would make the majority of us break down, rather than rise to the challenge.
Jane grew up in Detroit, a place where homelessness and drug addiction is not a rare sight. I am certainly not suggesting that all of Detroit is like this, but those of us who are from Michigan know that certain parts are. Jane's mother struggled to raise her on her own, yet when I ask her about her mom, Jane has nothing but positive things to say. "Yeah, she had problems, but I was always her number one priority." Jane's mother made sure that Jane always had opportunities for a good education, and stressed more than anything else the importance of Jane doing well in school. Jane said that her mom wanted so much more for Jane to go on and enjoy the life that her mother could not have, and she so badly wanted Jane to rise above their situation that she did everything she could to allow Jane to go to school and thrive there.
Jane's mother passed away when Jane was fifteen years old from a drug overdose. I remember the first time I heard this from Jane, I wasn't sure what to say. But the thing about Jane is, that she never says these things to receive pity or complain about her life to other people. Jane legitimately wants to help other people that are in similar situations to those that she had to go through. She wants her life to be an example to other people, to say "we all go through rough times, but you can rise above your struggles and go on to make a positive difference in the world. You can do something with your life. You are more than your past, and you have a future."
Almost completely on her own, Jane has managed to get accepted at Michigan State University, pay for her schooling and living expenses, and receive high marks in school. She works almost every day of the week at a job that she doesn't enjoy, and she does it with a smile and a positive attitude towards her coworkers. Jane has no addictions and does not wallow in the tragedy of her past. Instead of looking at her past with spite, she looks at it as something that she wants to learn from. And she constantly reminds me, she would not be the kind, caring, considerate, and selfless person that she is today without her wonderful mother.
I am truly amazed every time I think of Jane's story. How many of us would be able to go through life with very little instruction and be as successful as Jane is? How many of us could rise above a childhood of homelessness and want, and become a person who truly cares from the bottom of their heart for those that paid them so little attention before? I think that is my favorite thing about Jane: how much she really cares.
I have seen Jane take care of so many people this past year: friends and strangers alike. She has supported her friends through difficult life situations, and stayed up all night with them helping them sort things out, and bought them chocolate to improve their mood, and written them nice messages on the white boards on their doors, just because she wants to see them happy. I know more than a few times I have come home to a message on my white board telling me I am pretty, or funny, or I smell good (she has a pretty goofy sense of humor, like me). But the thing is, so often Jane's efforts go overlooked. People take advantage of her kindness. They think (like I used to) "oh, that's just a part of her personality". But Jane works at hr kindness, and everything she does for her loved ones is deliberate. She buys you that chocolate because she cares about you, not just because she thinks it will make her look good. The same goes for the messages, and the friend counseling.
So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you, Jane, from the bottom of my heart, for all of the things you do that you don't have to. Thank you for going out with me when everyone else wanted to stay home, even though you didn't know where we were going. Thank you for writing funny messages on the white board so I can laugh when I get home about how strange we are. Thank you for telling me that you are proud of me and everything I have done, because you know how good the recognition feels. Thank you for being my friend, when I didn't have many, and for loving me the way that everyone deserves to be loved.
Now I have something to say to you, Jane. You deserve to have people write you nice board messages. You deserve to have people stay up all night and talk to you when you are sad. You deserve to have people tell you they are proud of you. So I will tell you right now: I am proud of you. I do appreciate the things you do for me, and I notice them. And I really do care about you. I'm only sorry more people don't say these things to you, because I know they are thinking it.
"You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important."
-The Help
I think we can all learn a lesson from Jane about how to be selfless, and how to make a positive outcome from a negative situation. So let's go out today and tell the people we care about why we love them, and let's make sure everyone feels appreciated the way they deserve to be. In conclusion, "life is full of situations where you are going to have to deal with things you don't understand, but for God's sake, be open to learn." And, be open to appreciate :)
Have a lovely weekend!
I met Jane last year, and the first thing that I perceived about her was her openness and acceptance of complete strangers. I had originally thought of this as just a trait: she was an outgoing person. What I didn't understand at the time was the fact that this acceptance and open heart and mind did not come from her being a naturally open person: it came from her attitude to make the best out of her life, even when she had been at her worst. Her love and compassion for everyone came from her own struggles as a child, growing up with a life that would make the majority of us break down, rather than rise to the challenge.
Jane grew up in Detroit, a place where homelessness and drug addiction is not a rare sight. I am certainly not suggesting that all of Detroit is like this, but those of us who are from Michigan know that certain parts are. Jane's mother struggled to raise her on her own, yet when I ask her about her mom, Jane has nothing but positive things to say. "Yeah, she had problems, but I was always her number one priority." Jane's mother made sure that Jane always had opportunities for a good education, and stressed more than anything else the importance of Jane doing well in school. Jane said that her mom wanted so much more for Jane to go on and enjoy the life that her mother could not have, and she so badly wanted Jane to rise above their situation that she did everything she could to allow Jane to go to school and thrive there.
Jane's mother passed away when Jane was fifteen years old from a drug overdose. I remember the first time I heard this from Jane, I wasn't sure what to say. But the thing about Jane is, that she never says these things to receive pity or complain about her life to other people. Jane legitimately wants to help other people that are in similar situations to those that she had to go through. She wants her life to be an example to other people, to say "we all go through rough times, but you can rise above your struggles and go on to make a positive difference in the world. You can do something with your life. You are more than your past, and you have a future."
Almost completely on her own, Jane has managed to get accepted at Michigan State University, pay for her schooling and living expenses, and receive high marks in school. She works almost every day of the week at a job that she doesn't enjoy, and she does it with a smile and a positive attitude towards her coworkers. Jane has no addictions and does not wallow in the tragedy of her past. Instead of looking at her past with spite, she looks at it as something that she wants to learn from. And she constantly reminds me, she would not be the kind, caring, considerate, and selfless person that she is today without her wonderful mother.
I am truly amazed every time I think of Jane's story. How many of us would be able to go through life with very little instruction and be as successful as Jane is? How many of us could rise above a childhood of homelessness and want, and become a person who truly cares from the bottom of their heart for those that paid them so little attention before? I think that is my favorite thing about Jane: how much she really cares.
I have seen Jane take care of so many people this past year: friends and strangers alike. She has supported her friends through difficult life situations, and stayed up all night with them helping them sort things out, and bought them chocolate to improve their mood, and written them nice messages on the white boards on their doors, just because she wants to see them happy. I know more than a few times I have come home to a message on my white board telling me I am pretty, or funny, or I smell good (she has a pretty goofy sense of humor, like me). But the thing is, so often Jane's efforts go overlooked. People take advantage of her kindness. They think (like I used to) "oh, that's just a part of her personality". But Jane works at hr kindness, and everything she does for her loved ones is deliberate. She buys you that chocolate because she cares about you, not just because she thinks it will make her look good. The same goes for the messages, and the friend counseling.
So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you, Jane, from the bottom of my heart, for all of the things you do that you don't have to. Thank you for going out with me when everyone else wanted to stay home, even though you didn't know where we were going. Thank you for writing funny messages on the white board so I can laugh when I get home about how strange we are. Thank you for telling me that you are proud of me and everything I have done, because you know how good the recognition feels. Thank you for being my friend, when I didn't have many, and for loving me the way that everyone deserves to be loved.
Now I have something to say to you, Jane. You deserve to have people write you nice board messages. You deserve to have people stay up all night and talk to you when you are sad. You deserve to have people tell you they are proud of you. So I will tell you right now: I am proud of you. I do appreciate the things you do for me, and I notice them. And I really do care about you. I'm only sorry more people don't say these things to you, because I know they are thinking it.
"You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important."
-The Help
I think we can all learn a lesson from Jane about how to be selfless, and how to make a positive outcome from a negative situation. So let's go out today and tell the people we care about why we love them, and let's make sure everyone feels appreciated the way they deserve to be. In conclusion, "life is full of situations where you are going to have to deal with things you don't understand, but for God's sake, be open to learn." And, be open to appreciate :)
Have a lovely weekend!
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