Life Lessons: "Jane"

I would like to dedicate this post to someone very special to me, who has taught me more about life and the power of one person than I could ever learn from anyone else. To protect her privacy, I am going to refer to this person as "Jane".

I met Jane last year, and the first thing that I perceived about her was her openness and acceptance of complete strangers. I had originally thought of this as just a trait: she was an outgoing person. What I didn't understand at the time was the fact that this acceptance and open heart and mind did not come from her being a naturally open person: it came from her attitude to make the best out of her life, even when she had been at her worst. Her love and compassion for everyone came from her own struggles as a child, growing up with a life that would make the majority of us break down, rather than rise to the challenge.

Jane grew up in Detroit, a place where homelessness and drug addiction is not a rare sight. I am certainly not suggesting that all of Detroit is like this, but those of us who are from Michigan know that certain parts are. Jane's mother struggled to raise her on her own, yet when I ask her about her mom, Jane has nothing but positive things to say. "Yeah, she had problems, but I was always her number one priority." Jane's mother made sure that Jane always had opportunities for a good education, and stressed more than anything else the importance of Jane doing well in school. Jane said that her mom wanted so much more for Jane to go on and enjoy the life that her mother could not have, and she so badly wanted Jane to rise above their situation that she did everything she could to allow Jane to go to school and thrive there.

Jane's mother passed away when Jane was fifteen years old from a drug overdose. I remember the first time I heard this from Jane, I wasn't sure what to say. But the thing about Jane is, that she never says these things to receive pity or complain about her life to other people. Jane legitimately wants to help other people that are in similar situations to those that she had to go through. She wants her life to be an example to other people, to say "we all go through rough times, but you can rise above your struggles and go on to make a positive difference in the world. You can do something with your life. You are more than your past, and you have a future."

Almost completely on her own, Jane has managed to get accepted at Michigan State University, pay for her schooling and living expenses, and receive high marks in school. She works almost every day of the week at a job that she doesn't enjoy, and she does it with a smile and a positive attitude towards her coworkers. Jane has no addictions and does not wallow in the tragedy of her past. Instead of looking at her past with spite, she looks at it as something that she wants to learn from. And she constantly reminds me, she would not be the kind, caring, considerate, and selfless person that she is today without her wonderful mother.

I am truly amazed every time I think of Jane's story. How many of us would be able to go through life with very little instruction and be as successful as Jane is? How many of us could rise above a childhood of homelessness and want, and become a person who truly cares from the bottom of their heart for those that paid them so little attention before? I think that is my favorite thing about Jane: how much she really cares.

I have seen Jane take care of so many people this past year: friends and strangers alike. She has supported her friends through difficult life situations, and stayed up all night with them helping them sort things out, and bought them chocolate to improve their mood, and written them nice messages on the white boards on their doors, just because she wants to see them happy. I know more than a few times I have come home to a message on my white board telling me I am pretty, or funny, or I smell good (she has a pretty goofy sense of humor, like me). But the thing is, so often Jane's efforts go overlooked. People take advantage of her kindness. They think (like I used to) "oh, that's just a part of her personality". But Jane works at hr kindness, and everything she does for her loved ones is deliberate. She buys you that chocolate because she cares about you, not just because she thinks it will make her look good. The same goes for the messages, and the friend counseling.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you, Jane, from the bottom of my heart, for all of the things you do that you don't have to. Thank you for going out with me when everyone else wanted to stay home, even though you didn't know where we were going. Thank you for writing funny messages on the white board so I can laugh when I get home about how strange we are. Thank you for telling me that you are proud of me and everything I have done, because you know how good the recognition feels. Thank you for being my friend, when I didn't have many, and for loving me the way that everyone deserves to be loved.

Now I have something to say to you, Jane. You deserve to have people write you nice board messages. You deserve to have people stay up all night and talk to you when you are sad. You deserve to have people tell you they are proud of you. So I will tell you right now: I am proud of you. I do appreciate the things you do for me, and I notice them. And I really do care about you. I'm only sorry more people don't say these things to you, because I know they are thinking it.

"You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important."
-The Help

I think we can all learn a lesson from Jane about how to be selfless, and how to make a positive outcome from a negative situation. So let's go out today and tell the people we care about why we love them, and let's make sure everyone feels appreciated the way they deserve to be. In conclusion, "life is full of situations where you are going to have to deal with things you don't understand, but for God's sake, be open to learn." And, be open to appreciate :)

Have a lovely weekend!